Day 4 Sunday=Rest Day

Last night was by far the best sleep in dayssssss.  I fell asleep just after 6pm and slept until after 9.  I then woke up had a shower and read for a few.  Went back to bed until after 6 this am.  It felt really good.

We layed around for the most part this am.  Kyle hit up the gym then decided we'd go meet the other patients meeting up at the cultural centre.  Only problem I forgot what time and where they were meeting....haha...oops.  So Kyle and I decided to walk over to the Cultural Centre and have a look around.  What a great place!  We started in the art gallery part, which even though so out of character for us was really neat.  Then scooted over to the part that showed the history of the Baja California area (where we are) So cool to look through all of that.  It was quite full and had so many different activies for the kids.  I was starving so we went for lunch at a buffett and then hit up the mall.  A really cute shirt for only 89mxn (6usd)  YES PLEASE....it was so cute :)

If anyone comes to visit we are so hitting up the mall...(insert sarcasm)...Kyle was such a great shopping companion :)  (oh and apparently don't stick your finger in hair products)

What I've learned today:

Tijuana is no different from anywhere else.  There were so many families out and about enjoying everything going on.

We are assholes who do not know the local language.  I want to work on that this week. We are in this county we should know how to communicate, everyone has been so nice to us.  It's only right we know how to communicate here.



Our internet was out most of the day and finally got to talk to Livi tonight. THis is now the longest I've been away from the kids.  It's not easier but I just keep thinking keep your eye on the prize and get your ass better......(oh and I thinkdon't kill your husband in Tijuana as I heard the "big jail" is difficult and I'll most likely get thrown in the slammer for a veryyyyy long time, don't think I'd do jail well)

Anywho,  hopefully tomorrow we can borrow our box of kitchen supplies and start cooking some small meals here in the room to save some mula.


FUCK YOU CANCER

I DO NOT HAVE A FUCKING EXPIRATION DATE MARKED ON THE BOTTOM OF MY FOOT.

Today instead of my HANTS COUNTY STRONG tag I think:

CANADA STRONG!!!! (seems fitting xoxoxox)

Much Love
xoxo

Day 3

Much the same today. Met another Dr who does the Saturday shift plus met The nutritionist. Both were very kind and intelligent.  I have the next couple days of food to myself  and start Monday. Pasta tonight :)

I had a temp pic line in and that was taken out today as I get a perm one in Monday. Make things easier as the veins in my arm are not liking the Iv's right now. I'd say it's because I'm delicate like a flower. Haha

Sorry not much today folks. This momma is tired and I can't get my ipad to connect so I'll deal with it tomorrow. We're going rob grab some supper here soon and then veg for the night.

Tomorrow we are going to go to the cultural centre with some other patients. I feel like a mini heard of cancer patients running around Tijuana. The best part is they all have a story and I enjoy hearing their stories.

Miss you all but big ole hugs and kisses to Livi Loo and Grader. Miss you more then anything my sweet babies. Xoxoxox

FUCK YOU CANCER!!

I DO NOT HAVE A FUCKING EXPIRATION DATE MARKED ON THE BOTTOM OF MY FOOT!!

Day 2 Baby

Well Day 2 is over.  Definitely getting in to more of a groove and finding my way.  Had my first Hyperthermia (heat your body up) and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.  I was not looking forward to the temperatures as I'm not a big fan of heat but I made it through a ok.

Kyle did some exploring and found us another hotel directly across the street from the clinic so he can now walk back and forth during the day.  He was out with another patients husband and did some exploring of local markets and stores.  So moving forward we are going to borrow a box of kitchen stuff from the hotel and start making small meals in our room.  We're finding eating out for the meals while not at clinic is going to start adding up.  This was we can cook some eggs and stuff for brekkie and save a bunch.

The best part of the day was skyping with the kiddos a few times.  They are so stinking cute, god love them.  It was very cute when Livi asked if momma still had cancer.  God bless the little darling xoxox

Any who, off to find myself a burger for supper tonight as I meet with Oscar the strict (but incredibly smart) nutritionist tomorrow and really really want a burger...haha

FUCK YOU CANCER

I DO NOT HAVE A FUCKING EXPIRATION DATE MARKED ON THE BOTTOM OF MY FOOT!!!!

Much Love
xoxo

Day 1

I am in Tijuana, Mexico for medical treatment because I have cancer....fucking Cancer.  Can you fucking imagine!  Oh my goodness, every time  I say it out loud it seems like a dream......with random nightmares.

Yesterday was such a messed up day.  Leaving was horrible, worst then I thought but it was easier not having them at the airport.  Although all I really wanted was one last snuggle right before we walked away.  I'll have to settle for the hug pillows mom had made (I've tried to figure out how to add pics to the blog and still have no clue) All I could think of was I hope the kids do not think we left them, that we abandoned them.  You can tell me a zillion times they won't feel like that but it doesn't matter.....you still feel it and still want to make it all better.  Thankfully my babies are feeling the love from so many and that makes it much easier.

For the non travellers we are I felt we did pretty good getting our asses to a foreign country.  (I sometimes feel like hfx is too far...haha) We arrived last night around 8:30pm (12:30am Hants County time) and were super duper tired.  Ordered a meal as I had to fast for clinic today.

All was well and we made it to the clinic via hotel transportation.  Thank goodness for that as I am 100% positive our marriage could not make it through driving here (cancer we can do...Tijuana driving we cannot)

First day at the clinic was interesting.  Very clean and super duper nice nurses but different.  I guess that's what Alternative is...different from what you are use to.  What's so great is that everyone is so very positive....and have heard some really great success stories, one specifically from a girl currently in treatment.

So onward and upward right

FUCK YOU CANCER

I DO NOT HAVE A FUCKING EXPIRATION DATE MARKED ON THE BOTTOM OF MY FOOT

Much Love
xoxo

Ti-juana go to Mexico (get it Do you wanna go to Mexico)

Okay so my joke is not that clever but I am tired and that's all I could muster up.  The last 36 hours have most definitely been the hardest for me.  Leaving the kids was gut wrenching and I can only hope that this is worth it.
We have made it to the hotel.  Been a crazy emotional crazy day but we are laying in bed with full bellies and all showered at our intended destination.  That has to be a success :)
I'll update more tomorrow as right now this gal is closing her eyes to get some shut eye for the big day tomorrow.

Liv and Grade I miss you both so much and cannot wait to wrap my arms around you xoxoxoxoxox

FUCK YOU CANCER

I DO NOT HAVE A FUCKING EXPIRATION DATE MARKED ON THE BOTTOM OF MY FOOT!!!

HANTS COUNTY (and beyond) STRONG baby :)

Much Love
xoxo

It's bullshit

Sitting here snuggling my sweet baby girl while watching my sweet baby boy on the monitor thinking how the fuck did my body grow such beautiful creatures and then grow such a vile fucking disease. Tonight I hate you CANCER, yes you can go fuck yourself!!

Declaration

I DECLARE I have the grace I need for today.  I am FULL of POWER , STRENGTH, and DETERMINATION. NOTHING I face will be too much for me.  I WILL OVERCOME every obstacle, OUTLAST every challenge, and come through every difficulty better off than I was before. This is MY Declaration!!!!

6 weeks ago tomorrow I went in for a routine "large mass" removal and life as I knew it changed.  I've been through "shit" before and felt the love of the many who helped bring us through each and every tragic event but I cannot even begin to explain how I feel when I look around our crazy house, full of crazy people.

To our wonderful family, we love you all and thank you for standing beside us and being the great people that you are.  I know some people say you cannot choose your family but if given the opportunity to go back and choose I'd choose each and every one of you (even if there are moments we want to throat punch each other...eh) Love you all more then you know.

To my sweet sweet beautiful friends, I do not think you all truly know how complete you make me feel.  I've often said you gals were my soul mates (Sorry Kyle :)) and will miss you all terribly while away.  I only want to grow old and be bat shit crazy elders running around driving all the youngins nuts with you.  We've shared many a season with each other and hoping this is just a nasty season that needs to end.  Love you all so much xoxoxo

To my absolutely amazing husband, you my love are the very best there is.  You have stood beside me and had my back from the day we met and the last 6 weeks have been no different.  I never in a million thought we'd have to go through this but so glad you are here with me.  You are by far the most amazing father (although the kids get their best qualities from me ;) ) and know whatever happens our babies will be well taken care of.  Just make sure they know their momma and how much I love them!!!

To our many supporters Thank you.  Thank you for opening your heart to us and sending so much positivity our way!!  Thank you for your generosity and help whatever it may be. We are a proud bunch but please know you have helped ease the financial burden and you will forever be in our hearts.  You have made the day a little easier by helping prepare a meal.  You have dropped off a card that put a smile on our face.  You dropped off books to help educate.  You sent a message that made me think, fuck yea I can do this.  You have made our lives easier in all the you do.

And to my babies.  You are the reason I will do whatever I need to do.  You are the most amazing children a momma could ask for.  You drive me nuts but make me want to snuggle you at the same time.  You are the reason I breath and bring so much joy to our lives!!  Please forgive me for leaving you but I promise it's only just a blip in time.  We'll be back before you know it and god willing your momma will be healthier and stronger and here for a lot longer.  I promise you will be well taken care of and loved beyond words while we are away.

FUCK you CANCER, I will OUTLAST YOU!!!!

I DECLARE: I DO NOT HAVE A FUCKING EXPIRATION DATE MARKED ON THE BOTTOM OF MY FOOT!!!!

HANTS COUNTY (CANADA) STRONG!!!!!!

MUCH LOVE
XOXOXO