It's not a joke
It's real
Yes, I do have Stage 4 gastric cancer and the PET scan showed more. It is in my stomach, lymphnodes in the abdomen, lymphnodes in the chest, upper lung and bone (C5 vertebrae, pelvis femur and a couple more spot I can't remember)
The stage diagnosis does not change and treatment does not change, just makes it more real and scarier.
Today was not a good day
Your mind goes to a zillion different places but my focus always comes back to my sweet sweet babies. I just want to hug them and hold them forever. I just want to watch them grow and mature and see the special things they will do and for them to know just how much I love them.
I don't understand
I don't get it
I don't know why
The positive of the day. Nothing in my breast, and my kidneys are good. Now to make treatment decisions and get this shit on the road.
I keep trying to think I'm lucky as I have this chance to enjoy the time I do have, to say the goodbyes many do not get to say, to kiss and hug the people I love one more time but the other part says fuck this....it's not fair and I WANT MORE and I'm not going down without a fight.
Thankfully my calvary showed up again and even though it was difficult to have those moments with my loved ones I'm oh so glad they were here by my side. I need each and every one of you and Thank You for being here yet again.
FUCK YOU CANCER!
I DO NOT HAVE A FUCKING EXPIRATION DATE MARKED ON MY FOOT!!
Hants County Strong!
There are no words Lisa... except love you and your beautiful family, and we are here for you as always xoxo
ReplyDeleteI share in that pain . Wanting to watch your baby grow old. Watch her see her babies grow and mature and become people of this world. NO it's not fair, its cruel and it hurts like hell!. We are surrounding you with the power of love and light and we heard you make the declaration last night. We declare to be there with you every day ,One Day At A Time" and we will live each day to the fullest in "love and Light"
ReplyDeleteNo words.
ReplyDeleteJust love.