It started out frustrating as at the doc appointment they had nothing, no path reports and nothing to talk about really. Well, beside the fact that there is no surgery and if it is what they "think" it is it is not curable. Don't tell me it's not curable, dont tell me you'll try and prolong my life....tell me I'm going to fight right beside you....and we'll kill this shit!!
I got the call once we returned home and even though we had been told the news that it was stage 4 Gastric Cancer and that I had a year to live it was so sickening to hear that it was indeed that. To hear that it maybe started in the breast and more tests are going to happen. To hear that it was where it was and that now I would most definielty have to start that battle for my life, for my childrens life, for my family tore my heart out again, at least I was hoped up on some narcotics the first go around (post op)
I only want to see my babies grow in to the amaizing people I know they will be, to take Grady to his first day of school, go prom dress shopping with Livi. FUCK!!!!
I will not take no for an answer and I will not back down.
We did however have a great conversation with JH a psychologist in Hfx about how to talk to Livi and Grade as hard as it is going to be, we are going to do it Friday evening, hardest talk of life.
FUCK YOU CANCER, I Do not have and expiration date on the bottom of my foot.
I don't know you Lisa, but I will start by telling you my name is also Lisa and I also have Stage 4 cancer - lymphoma to be specific. I'm keeping a determined, positive outlook, like you, and so far I'm winning. At my most recent checkup I was told that my cancer has remained almost static for two years, despite not having any chemo yet. You and I can both beat this!
ReplyDeleteWhat I really wanted to say was DON'T GIVE UP!! My grandfather was diagnosed with stomach cancer in the mid 1930's and told that with surgery he might live another year. He had the surgery, and in those days there were no other treatments to give him besides eating a healthy diet, so he went home with a determined heart and a death sentence. He passed away 30 years later in his late 70's of unrelated causes. He ALWAYS had a smile on his face and a glint in his eye, never let himself get stressed about anything, and found joy in even the smallest of things, every day. He took good care of himself, ate well, kept fit and loved his family and friends.
If he could beat it all those years ago with so few options available to treat it, you can do it too. Like him, you DO NOT have an expiry date on the bottom of your foot.
You are strong, beautiful, determined, and inspirational. You are not alone. You have the best treatment above all- love and friendship.
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