This morning was a shitty one, I haven't had a day like this in a week or so and this morning it hit me like a tonne of bricks....and it fucking sucked. The more I cried the harder it was to slow down and stop.
I was laying on the couch and Kyle hollered at Grade (not in a "I'm a bad hollering parent kinda of way...more of a....hey baby stop being a crazy baby touching everything kinda way" and my thought was "Kyle don't holler at the baby as you're taking for granted that you'll always be here for him, think of me and the fact that I might not be here" I cried because it was unfair of me to think that, I cried because I might not be here.....fuck!
It was so something I would holler at him for and it was nothing Kyle did (he's such a great husband and father) but it hit me and I couldn't stop. I tried taking a minute alone to calm my shit down but it just made me cry harder, I tried showering and it just made me cry harder....I didn't know you could cry that hard. It sucked :(
I know it's normal but I don't like that feeling and I don't like how I feel afterwards. I've been dealt this hand and need to find a way to get through it with somewhat of a smile on my face for fuck sakes!!!
Thankfully Mand and the girls showed up, then Liz. They obviously knew something was up and the cavalry was called in and there was a full house for the rest of the day. This girl right here has the best people of life in her world and I love ya all lots xoxox
What I am thankful for today:
My Kick Ass Husband Kyle, this guy has stood by my side every minute of every day since the 22nd, At the sign of anything askew he jumps right in and takes care of it. He always has my back xo
My Awesome Friends and Family
The Juicer
Pete's Frutique
Arbys (Thanks Buffett)
The fact that I have the chance to fight this and if not spend many more moments with the people that matter
I have two absolutely beautiful children
Thanks for the visits today, they were much needed
Today, Cancer, You can go FUCK yourself. You're messing with the wrong girl, because even if I have a shitty day there's a ga-zillion others waiting to take you on
FUCK YOU CANCER
I DO NOT HAVE A FUCKING EXPIRATION DATE ON MY FOOT
Much Love
xoxo
HANTS COUNTY STRONG!!!!!
It breaks my heart to know you are in emotional pain. I wish I could take that from your heart and give you the peace and serenity to get thru your days. As a Mom i Know how you feel when you think of your babies. I feel it toomy sweet. You're right cancer you have chosen the wrong gal and the wrong group of family and friends to mess. Fuck You Bigtime!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWas glad to be able to have our visit, and it was nice that the boys got to have their "guy" time in the garage also, Kyle needs that and Charlie was happy to be there for him if only in a small way. Did you ever get to Petes for your veggies? Hope to get down for another visit soon, in the mean time we are just up the road, anything you need just give us a call <3
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