What to do

As a human we always have choices, every day we are faced with choices and for me I've always made them with realtive ease.  As many know we have been researching treatment away.  At this point anything to try and help us with our miracle or at the very least extend my life with the best quality of life is worth a shot but my goodness I've been back and forth on this a zillion times.  The hardest part is leaving the kids. I've not been away from them for more then a couple nights at a time and by day 2 I'm usually done.

 I was conacted via facebook by DW (Thank you) and given the name of a lady from Halifax who went to this facility who highly reccommends it.  After a few emails back and forth and my mom tracking her down for a convo we all started to feel really good about this but still leaving my babies for that time is so very very hard.  Do I really want to miss 6 weeks if my days are numbered. Must push that out of my head and move on.  Maybe this will give me years with them.....but maybe it won't.

Last night was shitty, as while I was wide awake having thi internal struggle Liv jumped in to bed with me and snuggled in tight....well that set me off...I came downstairs to get my shit together and after about 10 minutes the little bugger came looking for me.  Liv has always been very sensitive to others feelings and emotions and this was no difference.  That snuggle was by far the best of life and thank goodness we had another snow day today to snuggle in bed a bit longer.

I feel I need to go
I can't explain why
But I feel it
For Fuck Sakes
Such a roller coaster ride of emotions!!!!!!

FUCK YOU CANCER

I DO NOT HAVE A FUCKING EXPIRATION DATE MARKED ON THE BOTTOM OF MY FOOT!

HANTS COUNTY STRONG

Much Love
Xoxo